Friday, June 11, 2010
Splice (Busby's Review)
ok...words CANNOT express how I am feeling after watching this fucking movie...maybe MJ can sum it up for me...
This movie is just SHIT...just utter SHIT!...I got tricked into seeing this movie. I WAS very intrigued by this film based off the trailer, and from the reviews it got on Rotten Tomatoes. The film was also part of the Sundance Film festival, and won an award at the Sitges Film Festival for Best Special Effects.
This is what I wanna do too ANY critic who actually LIKED this movie...
Now the premise of this movie is that 2 scientist (played by Adrian Brody & Sarah Polley), spliced together human DNA with a revolutionary animal DNA to create a breakthrough in human science. They named their creation Dren (which is nerd spelled backwards) who looks like a mix between Kat Stacks and Tila Tequila. The creature starts growing and learning on some Benjamin Button shit, and gets smarter and stronger each day. The creature starts to grow out of control of the the scientists then that/s when shit starts hitting the fan. Now after seeing the trailer and hearing the story. It sounds like a promising movie right?
This shit was BEYOND stupid, the acting was stupid, and the logic was all over the place. And I don't see the big deal in the special effects in this movie. This chick looks like she could have been an extra alien in Mos Esley in Star Wars.
Now when I was watching this crap, I wanted to leave, I REALLY did. But I had to sit there just to see how worse this shit is gonna get. And trust me it did, I don't give a damn if I spoil it for yall, but there is a scene where Adrian Brody ends up having sex with this bitch. Yes, full blown Monster's Ball status SEX, everybody in the theater just had this "WTF!" looks on their faces. I was the only person in the theater that yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!! ARE U SERIOUS?!" I mean when this bitch was riding him her tail was all in the air, and when she was about to have an orgasm her skin opened up and she had WINGS! THEN to make it even MORE fucked up, his wife caught them fucking and she had the same look everybody in the theater had. Then when she leaves, Adrian Brody runs after her screaming "IT'S NOT WHAT U THINK!"
AND IT GET'S WORSE! After that scene, him and his wife talk it over, and then they go to the next scene like nothing even happened.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!! You just CANNOT IGNORE THAT! WTF KINDA SHIT IS THAT?!?!
So now I am just sitting there thinking "so THIS is the movie, everybody was so hyped for?"
After that scene, I can NEVER look at Adrian brody the same way, they must have paid this man GOOD money for him to do some shit like that. Like seriously when he read that part in the script, was he thinking this shit was gonna get him an oscar? FUCK OUTTA HERE!
So it get's worse from here, so now since the creature is getting older at a rapid rate, she ends up dying. However, after her death she ends up giving birth to a full grown Jeepers Creepers creature that is Adrian Brody's son....He ends up chasing after the girl and she is screaming what he wants from her. The creature then rips off her clothes with his tail. And then I say, "oh hell no.." and then the lil bastard says "INSIDE...YOU" and then proceeds to fuck her with his tail.
The movie ends, with the chick ending up pregnant and ends up signing a confidentiality agreement with the company she was working for SWEARING that she don't tell NOBODY what happened. Right..
I walked out that theater an angry black man because I couldn't get my money back for that piece of shit. I didn't pay to watch some beastiality bullshit like that, I mean seriously WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOUT THIS MOVIE that good reviews at the Sundance Film festival, I mean SERIOUSLY?!?! Is beastiaity is what is hot in Hollywood now? Can you imagine if there was a scene in King Kong, if Kong and that white bitch ended up fucking? I mean him trying to shove his massive monkey cock into that skinny white women? Shiiiiiiiiiit...Splice wasn't even scary either, the trailers before the movie looked scarier then the movie itself. What made me even MORE mad is that I wanted to see Karate Kid but that bitch was sold out! I mean like EVERY show was sold out! And for me to walk out that theater and seeing everybody in line to see that movie, or seeing people walking out talking about how good the movie was made me want to chin kick somebody. I wanted to start a nigga moment on some Boondocks shit...
I HIGHLY advise u NOT to see this movie, If u wanted to see this shit JUST for that sex scene then you my friend got issues...Serious.....issues....
I need to scream one more time...